Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, finances, age difference, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet wives dating.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek an extramarital affair. I think mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You would need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, enormous truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair